There has been a passing observation about the reluctance of modern men in performing church wedding recently,as the tide turns in favour of statutory marriage (court wedding/Registry)and traditional ones. And in my lazy attempt at trying to decipher the reason for this, I came up with a not-so lazy observation.
Most men want to get the wedding /marriage thing off and done once and for all. Away with the show, the flash, the attention, the time, the plethora of photoshoots and all the boring stuffs women seem to indulge and hold so dear in the little flurry of activities marking the marriage day.
The bureaucratic nature of most churches (especially the orthodox ones) where prospective couples are made to see different heads of departments of the church hierarchy , attend and pass marriage class, get baptised if either of the couples have not been baptised in that church.
and if the couples reside, say, in Lagos and they originally are from another state /region, they are required to travel down to their local government areas and announce the marriage notice in their respective churches there too and pay dues and levies also.
Back in their actual church of membership, they are also required to ” settle” the youth and choir members or risk the wrath of their absence or fine on their wedding day.
And not wanting to be seen as more spiritual than moral, intending couples are further mandated to do the genotype, blood group, HIV and pregnancy tests AT A STIPULATED laboratory of the church’s choice.
And then it hit me with a slow awakening ; in a worldly organisation like age grade gathering, old boys association etc where marriage, holiness and salvation of the soul is not prioritized , one is actually supported monetarily or with gifts to ease off the financial requirements when a member decides to marry. But most churches have made it mandatory for their members to “settle ” their youths and choir members.
and when one factor in the logistical, planning and financial demands of white wedding ceremony , could it be why most modern young men are seeking a less demanding and more straight forward marriage formality?
Is it really expedient marrying the same lady two times and inviting friends and family twice with all the financial demands and planning involve ?
Biblically, did anyone ever got married in the church or Synagogue ?
Did any of the apostles or disciples ever conducted any marriage ceremony ?
Maybe men are more spiritually prudent, logically apt at doing the needful while looking at the true picture of humanity.